If You're Happy And You Know It

I'm considering adding some new verses to this perennial favorite opening song.

If you're happy and you know it squeal in a pitch that makes paint peel.
If you're happy and you know it squeal in a pitch that makes paint peel.
If you're happy and you know it, your high-pitched squeal will show it.
If you're happy and you know it squeal in a pitch that makes paint peel.

If you're happy and you know it roll backwards and then forwards and slam your feet on the floor.
If you're happy and you know it roll backwards and then forwards and slam your feet on the floor.
If you're happy and you know it your somersaults will show it.
If you're happy and you know it roll backwards and then forwards and slam your feet on the floor.

My storytime regulars are so enthusiastic. No amount of correction from the mom seems to curb them. Don't squeal! No amount of correction from me seems to help. Stay seated!
And it just encourages the other children to try these variants on storytime behavior.

Sigh, only two more weeks of storytime and by the time I see them again, they'll be three to four months older and we'll see if we can start off with an Expected Behavior Lecture.

Mommies Talk During Storytime

We all remember Miss Marf's cellphone song:

I [C] went to the storytime (or  puppet show)] [Am] with my mom,
[F] but she left her [G] cellphone on.
The [C] cellphone rang and she [Am] took the call.
[F] Now we're [G7] not allowed back [C] in at all.

Followed by: Now, let's turn off our cellphones [mime this] and put them away [mime putting in your pocket].

I've added a verse for the mommies that talk during storytime. Not just a bit, but all through storytime.

We [C] love our storytime, [Am] but as we sat,
[F] some of the mommies in the [G] back would chat.
Soon [C] no one paid attention and [Am] Miss Marf got sore.
[F] Now our story [G7] teller is a [C] mean dinosaur.

I resisted the insertion of a verse about how Miss Marf retired in a snit (because of the tempting rhyme problems) or a huff.

[Edit: Likely ukulele chords added later. Arrange your own tune around it, or write your own.]

Someone Call Mark Teague!

How Do Dinosaurs Use the Library?

How do dinosaurs use the library?

Do they come in boisterous, angry, or wary?

Do they stomp their way to circulation

Demanding or starting an altercation?

Do they visit the children’s room with their child

Then proceed to ignore it and let it run wild?

Do dinosaurs print off some stupid chain letter

Then leave without paying, though they ought to know better?

If a dinosaur has an overdue book

Does she sneak in and hide it in some remote nook

Then a couple days later does she harry the clerks,

Insisting they look harder and calling them jerks?

Do they think any of this works?

No, dinosaurs wouldn’t behave in that way.

They finish a book and return it next day.

They cheerfully own up that they owe a fine

And pay it all up without even a whine.

If they make a copy, they pay for it quickly.

They don’t come in sneezing and coughing and sickly.

Before coming in each dinosaur gave

Their child a brief talk on how to behave.

They write to their congressmen.  They lobby for funds.

They bring the staff cookies (well, maybe just once)!

When they’re good to us, we just want to do more.

Thank you, thank you, Dinosaur!

Manage the KIDS?

In all the years I've been doing storytimes, I haven't had nearly the amount of trouble with kids that I've had with the adults that come into storytime with them.  This doesn't mean I don't want them in there, just that I wish they would use some common sense.
Problem #1: Cell phones.  They forget to turn their cell phones off. The cell phone rings during storytime and the adult steps over the children on the way out, talking all the way.  Solution: Start each storytime with the Cell Phone Song:
    I went to the storytime with my mom,
    But she left
    Her cell phone on.
    The cell phone rang
    And she took the call.
    Now we're not allowed back in at all.*
And have the kids pretend to take out their cell phones, turn them off, and put them back in their pockets while glaring meaningfully at the adults.

I also have a sign that used to be posted on the wall (but now that we're in a new library, we can't put anything up until it gets all grungy and lived-in again).  The idea was that if the cell phone rang, the tiger would come out and eat the phone ... and anyone holding it.

These aren't the exact signs - but you get the idea.

Problem #2: Adults talking during storytime, daycare providers/teachers doing their work, or texting.  Rather than shame authority figures in front of their charges, I have a sign I hold up that has the "No cell phones" on one side and the "Please model good listening." on the other.  I may need to flash both.  I do mostly pre-school storytimes, so they can't read and the adults get the message.  If they don't get the message, some day, some day, I may just resort to public shaming.

The best storytime experiences I have had were with groups that had adults who participated.

* This song has more verses that involve restaurants and airlines and gets progressively vitriolic.  I hate cell phones.  Even though I own one, I rarely turn it on. Be in the moment, people!