Stop Me If You've Heard This One ...

The library is a public space, and as a public space, we have to allow the public inside. This causes all sorts of problems: the public likes to touch the books, the public likes to take books home, the public brings the books back. Most of these are problems that are actually a feature of the business we're in.
There are many other little things that crop up from time to time. I have often had to wear the Psychiatrist Hat. When we were between cleaning help, I had to clean the bathrooms in my area - and this has happened in both the old and the new library. Now, one expects poo to be a part of this, if one is cleaning a bathroom. One might not expect it elsewhere in the library, but it did happen once in the stacks and a patron had to point it out, after it had even been trodden a bit into the carpet by either an unsuspecting child or, perhaps, a suspected one.
At the old library, we had access to some cleaning products and paper towels and I personally cleaned that up.
Now, I told  you that story to tell  you this next one.
Once upon an old library with a one-person cleaning crew, there was another one of these accidents that happened in the adult area. An adult was not quick enough and left a ... spoor from the magazine/reading area, past the circulation desk, and finally to the bathroom. The woman who had been working in the Reference Room nearby took the initiative to clean it up herself before it became ground in, as had happened in my area.
Her idea was to get a broom and sweep it up onto paper and she was in a hurry. The cleaning woman had a broom. The cleaning woman was there. There ensued the sort of scene worthy of The Lucy Show.
The cleaning woman would not give up the broom for this. It was a clean broom. No amount of cajoling or promises to immediately buy a new broom for her induced the cleaning woman to relinquish her broom.
The reason I know about this is because there was a chase scene starting from the ... spoor all around to the Children's Room where a tug-of-war erupted right in front of me. So, picture, if you will, two middle-aged women tugging a broom back and forth and arguing, in the middle of the Children's Room of a public library. Moments like these are precious jewels in my memory. Hold that scene in your mind and add whatever colorful elements you choose. End it however you like when you are ready and sufficiently amused. If you want to know how it was resolved, the reference librarian had weight on her side and she finally got possession of the broom and scurried off to clean up. The cleaning woman muttered imprecations and quit right then.
I was reminded of this story today when a child peed on the carpet and all I had was a roll of paper towels, all the cleaning products being locked up for the professional crew.