Mommies Talk During Storytime

We all remember Miss Marf's cellphone song:

I [C] went to the storytime (or  puppet show)] [Am] with my mom,
[F] but she left her [G] cellphone on.
The [C] cellphone rang and she [Am] took the call.
[F] Now we're [G7] not allowed back [C] in at all.

Followed by: Now, let's turn off our cellphones [mime this] and put them away [mime putting in your pocket].

I've added a verse for the mommies that talk during storytime. Not just a bit, but all through storytime.

We [C] love our storytime, [Am] but as we sat,
[F] some of the mommies in the [G] back would chat.
Soon [C] no one paid attention and [Am] Miss Marf got sore.
[F] Now our story [G7] teller is a [C] mean dinosaur.

I resisted the insertion of a verse about how Miss Marf retired in a snit (because of the tempting rhyme problems) or a huff.

[Edit: Likely ukulele chords added later. Arrange your own tune around it, or write your own.]

Confessions of a Careless Patron

One day, I was listening to the audio of this book, but had to go to work. I was at a critical point in the narrative. I picked up the copy we had at work (fortuitously checked in!) and read for a bit. I left it on my desk.
I haven't seen it since.

This was months ago. I renewed it and continued to look for it for quite a while. Things came to a head today when I finished a downloaded book and tried to log into the Jasmine Digital Library ... and it said I had an overdue book and it had cut off my access! This was almost as bad as the day it told me my card had expired and I was unable to get another book until the library opened the next day!

I came in and went to the circulation desk to try to settle my account (bringing my wallet with me) but it was busy and I ended up helping to check out books instead. When it calmed down I explained my problem to a co-worker who was loathe to charge me for the book.

"But I lost the book!" I said. She got the circulation manager. They looked at the charge: $25. They didn't want to charge me that. Aw, shhhhugar - I can pay it! Well, then they wouldn't charge me the processing fee (another $3 "hidden" charge). That was okay. Then they wanted to charge me half of the price. "But I lost the book!"

Eventually, they bargained me down to not paying at all. I feel terribly guilty about this and feel I haven't "learned my lesson." I'm sure I'm going to turn into a scoff-law and ne'er-do-well. I might even descend to "evil doer."

Also, the book won't be replaced! No one else will enjoy this Jasper Fforde foolishness! The shame! The shame of it all!