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The Many and Sundry Commandments in Reference to Those,
the Computers of the Children's Room
If thou owest five shekels or more, thou shalt not have access to the Computers of the Children's Room nor those of the Adult Computer Lab.
Thou shalt not bear false witness by showing the Librarian in the Children's Room the library card of someone else.
If thou art below the age of 12, thou shalt have thy parent with thee when thou art on the Computers of the Children's Room.
If thou art above the age of 12, thou shalt hie thyself to the Adult Computer Lab where the limit is 2 hours.
If thou art the age of 12, thou mightest possibly remain at the Computers of the Children's Room unaccompanied, but pusheth it thou not.
Regardless of thy age, thou shalt only remain on the Computers of the Children's Room for 30 minutes, even if there be no one else in waiting for it.
If thou art finishing a report for school thou mayest stay on the Computers of the Children's Room longer than 30 minutes, so makest sure thou art working on thy report and not desporting thyself on a videogame for 30 minutes be the limit.
If thou art a parent, thou mayest make use of the laptop computers for work or school and only for one hour.
Thou shalt not allow thy children to run wild in the library whilst thou peruseth the Book of Faces or ThouTube.
If thou art applying for a job, considereth that this may take more time than thou hadst planned on and hie thee to the Adult Computer Lab where the limit is 2 hours and leaveth thy children with a neighbor or thy mother or thy mother's mother.
Thou shalt not view material inappropriate for the Children's Room. Thinkest thou about it.
Thou shalt not view Book of Faces, for it is an abomination, and if thou art under 13 years of age, thy Book of Faces account be against the website's Terms of Service and thou hast born false witness to obtain same.
Thou shalt not view videos on ThouTube, because it sucketh bandwidth something awful and ruineth the interwebs experience for all.
Thou shalt not allow a preschooler on a Computer of the Children's Room and wander off to find books nor stoppeth to chat with thy neighbor whom thou hast not seen in ages. For the preschooler, contrary to what thou mightest imagine, doth not use technology intuitively and doth bang the keyboard and yanketh on the mousecord and peereth curiously at the little red light therein. Also, the preschooler diggeth into his nose with his finger and then smeareth the mucus upon the monitor.
When thou art finished with the Computers of the Children's Room, thou shalt return thy station to good order and return the sign to the monitor, but thou shalt not turn off the monitor nor the CPU, which confuseth the next person.
