Bride of Frankencozy

Dating Dead Men by Harley Jane Kozak

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I counted 60 characters, all requiring their own names. Well, except the Vons bag lady. The main characters' names are a bit contrived (mostly the Shelleys), but this was a good read.  I will definitely continue with the series.
There is a certain amount of amusement with the rush to date 50 men, but mostly this is a Cozy Thriller - if there is such a thing.  Wollie is pursued by the mob, assassins, all in the week where her greeting card shop is being evaluated by secret shoppers to see if it's upgrade material, giving Wollie the chance to buy the franchise ... with the down payment money from the dating study.  Can she keep up appearances at the shop while her schizophrenic brother, the mob, an attractive ex-con, her funkily dressed assistant, and all her dates conspire to undo all she's worked for?  Oh, and let's not forget the ferret.
Good fun and romance. Can't imagine what is left for a sequel.



View all my reviews

Predictable Amusement

The Witness at the Wedding by Simon Brett


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Carole's son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law try to reunite her with her useless excuse for an ex-husband David while she and Jude (just Jude) pry apart the secrets of her son's fiancee's family's past. A little predictable.
Musing with friends online about why we like some series I've decided that I like the age group here: women in their mid-50s. In 5 years I guess I'll move on to women in their 60s. Anyone got any suggestions?

View all my reviews >>

Alliteration in the Litticher

The Stabbing In The Stables by Simon Brett


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Surprise, surprise! I had read this one before. I didn't recognize the title (although it should be memorable) before picking it up, but as I went on it started sounding more familiar. Typical with me, although I remembered bits and pieces of it, most of it was still a mystery to me and required little or no yelling at the book. In this book Jude and Carole lament their lack of access to forensic evidence. The police just make things so hard for the amateur sleuth! Jude's uncharacteristic attention to detail and an overly handy diary solve one mystery.
I like the way Brett sums things up at the end of each of these books. He tells you what happens to the various characters - I guess so you don't worry about them or you get all cross if they got away with something because they're well-connected or rich and powerful.
In a side note, I don't do the same reading Jude does ... where does one read about "the connection between horse mutilation and paedophilia"?! In The Journal of the Horse Mutilators and The Paedophilia Gazette?
Note on my edition, which was a large print version: Ha ha! Book cover is decorated with a cowboy boot and a lariat. [Shakes head at Wheeler Publishing.]

View all my reviews >>

You Are Invited to a Necktie Party

The Hanging in the Hotel by Simon Brett


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
For a change, I didn't yell once at this book. No one was doing anything particularly bone-headed. The confrontation at the end seemed a little contrived, but the results realistic and satisfying, in a non-satisfactory and realistic kind of way.
Brett must really have something against attorneys (not to mention all-male "charitable" organizations). Carole's experiences with her wannabe love-interest grows slimier by the page. Maybe he's just pandering to public tastes.

View all my reviews >>

Bonehead Villains Unite!

Death on the Downs by Simon Brett


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Who dunnit? Seems like everyone dunnit. Everyone seems to be guilty of something in this story. You just need to fit the crime to the suspicious character.
I am continually surprised how amateur sleuths can just ring someone up and ask if they can come over and talk about the murder ... and it works!
Carole's early attempt at dating ("How interesting!") was amusing. Gawd, have I been there. I once laughed at every single thing some guy said, as if he were some deadpan comic.
Anyway, enough of my dysfunctional past love life ...
Brett actually includes the obligatory Two Bad Guys Discussing Their Crimes In Front Of the Sleuth so that they have to say, "Oh, now we've said all this in front of her - what do we do with her?" And, in true cozy fashion (although I've seen the same murderer-as-doofus scheme in Stalin's Ghost), the sleuth is left in a position she can either escape from or be rescued from, so the would-be killers don't have to trouble themselves with actually and personally killing a person.
Oh! Oh! And let's not forget the old Policeman And Bad Guy Battle It Out On the Cliff While the Others Watch Helplessly From a Distance!
So, why do I read these books if I find these conventions so annoying? Oh, because I love to complain! I love to regale my poor husband (who wouldn't read one of these with a gun pointed at his head) with these lunatic stories and make tea come out his nose when he can't take it any longer and finally starts laughing. Watching him laugh is the greatest delight in my life.
Of course, books like these also make me look at him warily. I was close to telling him that if he ever wanted a divorce that I would happily grant him one just so he wouldn't strangle me with his bare hands, but when I say things like that he just looks so hurt - as if I'd actually think anything like that about him.Would I read another one? Oh, sure - let me at 'em! Let's see what bone-headed thing comes up in Blood At the Bookies, which seems to be in at the mo'.

View all my reviews >>

Oh, Gard!

Murder In The Museum by Simon Brett


My rating: 2 of 5 stars
I always enjoyed the Charles Paris stories and thought I'd try this from the Fethering series. I will probably read more of these, simply because they're easy and I only yelled at the book once: when the heroine finds the secret priest hole and ventures down it without a "lifeline" (someone who knows where she is, a weapon, a functioning cell phone, enough food for a week - that sort of thing) and then, when not just one but two suspects show up, are annoyed to find her, and have with them someone else they really don't like and send her down into the hole and then ask the heroine to toss up her car keys so they "can move her car" which is in the way AND SHE DOES. Okay, maybe that was just one big looooong yell.

Here's what would happen if I were going looking for a secret priest hole: I'd take a disinterested party with me, when I found the hole, I'd look at it from a distance and then I would leave and report my findings to the local constabulary. Before going down into such a space, I would have: a flashlight with fresh batteries, stout shoes, a quick alternate escape plan (featuring the disinterested party, I'm sure), and my head examined.

The characters were realistic (they can get cartoony in the Cozies) and I suppose the victim was not totally over-the-top as pushy, overbearing, with a touch of sadism. I do have a quibble with the annoying American woman. I don't mind her being annoying and pushy, we are pretty annoying and pushy - that's fair comment. But the concession to an accent was that she said "Gard" all the time. As in, "Oh, Gard!" I'm sure the Brits roll on the floor when we try to do various Blighty accents, but where do they get this impression that we say things like "Gard" and "Americur"? Get it right, it's only in words like "Warshington" and "warter" and even then it's a minority accent. We say, "Oh, gawwwd!"

I'm afraid the dread secret of the Chadleigh's wasn't much of a secret - but it was fun getting there.

View all my reviews >>

Nice ... ummm, Donkey - yeah, that's it, Donkey

Who Killed Marilyn Monroe? by Liz Evans


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Hmm, I'm not sure this is as cozy as I had expected. Sure, there's a bit of romance and the PI is a tad inept. There's also some deadly peril and a lot of blood - not to mention animal abuse. Marilyn Monroe is the donkey. It is apparently common to name donkey ride animals after old movie stars. According to one of my traveling friends, it's done in Greece as well - and they aren't all named Melina Mercouri. Old American film stars seem to be the norm.
Grace Smith, forced to leave The Force and now an unsuccessful private investigator and full-time mooch, is hired by the donkey ride owner to find out who killed an innocent beast of burden.
This case gets tangled with the murder of a young woman - and everyone is off looking for the Maltese Falcon (oh, whattagiveaway!). Well, that's what I was saying to myself once the statue element entered the story. And once you know there's a vicious donkey, you can predict what happens later.
This was, despite those predictable bits, a good and satisfying read that held up right to the end.

View all my reviews >>

A Morbid Taste for Cozies

A Morbid Taste for Bones: The First Chronicle of Brother Cadfael by Ellis Peters


My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Peters wrote Medieval-Lite, but. I know other authors who came behind her to write medieval mysteries tried to capture the grittier reality from a time that was not all Chivalry and Great Ideals, and I can appreciate them as well, but these are just so ... nice. Although the settings in these books are somewhat sanitized, the characters are compelling and the mysteries are good. In this the first of the series, we meet Brother Cadfael (who is nothing like Sir Derek and one wonders how that man hasn't changed since he was Claudius - perhaps he has a painting in his attic ... ), a former man of the world who has been both soldier and lover and now appreciates a bit of peace and quiet.

We are also introduced to other continuing characters, the gentle Abbott, the supercilious Prior and his sycophantic assistant, and other brothers. Cadfael is the herbalist and that and years of military service have taught him what death looks like. Years of amatory service have given him sympathy for those in love.

In this story, Prior Robert's ambitions for the monastery (and himself) send a party to Wales to extract an underutilized saint literally from that soil. The Welsh aren't happy about this and the village's most outspoken authority is murdered. An Englishman unaffiliated with the monks is implicated. Being Welsh, Cadfael is torn between loyalty to his brothers and to his countrymen. Being a cozy mystery, Peters neatly resolves everything and shows Cadfael to be whimsical at the same time as being Solomonic.

View all my reviews >>

A Psychological Demi-Semi-Hemi-Thriller

Adam and Eve and Pinch Me by Ruth Rendell


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This was a good read. Instead of figuring out whodunnit, we are taxed with whosolvzit. We have an omniscient view of the murder from soup to nuts. We see the situation forming, we see the murderer and the victim do their dance until they inevitably come together and the murderer spins away to get on with life. Then we wait while we wonder if the murderer will be discovered and we sort of hope not. Like most cozies, the victim seems to have deserved something, if not actual death. Rendell has manipulated our feelings and, in fact, one of the characters unwittingly discusses the the core at the center of the nub of the gist of this story: when is murder not murder? When is it not a sin? When does a murderer not deserve punishment? Is this even possible?
We also see how a murder investigation destroys the social fabric. Neighbors no longer trust each other. There's an amusing side-story of a closeted gay MP who tries to get himself a "beard" but the murder affects this as well. As in any good cozy, true tragedy is skirted, the gore is limited, and the world is righted in the end.

View all my reviews >>

"I'm Not Dead Yet!"

The Thin Woman by Dorothy Cannell

My review

rating: 2 of 5 stars
Like most cozy reads, this one pulls up short from any graphic violence. The Thin Woman, belying the titular character in Hammett's book who actually was thin, has to lose over 60 lbs. in 6 months, among other things, to inherit "Uncle" Merlin's estate. Now, I don't mind telling you I get touchy about stories like this. I'd have an hourglass shape myself if I had a live-in Cordon Bleu chef (kinda like Oprah!) and the run-down house of an estate to put in order ...
Wait a minute ... Strike those last bits.
Anyway, if this book were actually about dieting, it would have been insufferable, but it's not. The mystery is also not in who killed whom, but in the past (or, in this case, the repast). Ellie and Ben must uncover the secret of Merlin's Court, having no idea where to start. And Ben must write a book both clean and fit for publishing. Falling down on any one of the three conditions will cost them the inheritance. There is enough cross-communication and auto-footshooting to satisfy readers fond of sexual tension, although that bit gets tiresome after a while and you start yelling at "Elizabeth" and "Mr. Darcy" to Just get it on for petessake! Despite increasingly goofy attempts, no one is killed, most people aren't even dead, and before Ellie and Ben can get too disgustingly lovey, they're pushed off a cliff. It's a light, entertaining read and I don't believe for 5 seconds that Ben would have liked her fat. So there.


View all my reviews.